This is all I could think of...

So we really didn't do anything that interesting last week other than take a test. (Which I totally bombed the multiple choice after feeling so confident about it. Don’t you hate when that happens?) So I think I’ll just talk about college today. College, College, College, where do I begin with college? So everybody is still talking about how they are applying to all these prestigious schools and how they are all really nervous about getting accepted but really they have an air about them that says “there’s no way I’m not getting accepted to (insert prestigious or ivy league college here) _________.” And then I feel like poop. Again. Because I feel lucky to be able to go to UK, but I still have to re-take my ACT because there’s no way UK’s nursing program will accept me with a 25. And I will most likely not get a single scholarship, which really doesn’t make me feel good about myself because everyone’s back up plan is getting a full ride to UK. Even my boyfriend just went to UK because UK is giving him a full ride and even paying him some just to go there. Do you want to know how I feel about every body’s opinion on colleges? #nocollegeswag

make up: I strongly disagree with the idea of blogging...

Sooooo blogging, yea, not my thing. To start off, I’m not really that much of a talker, at least not about my feelings or things that actually require a deep insightful journey or opinion. I especially don’t like talking to people I don’t know. So this completely one sided conversation I feel like I’m having with the computer is a little stressful. It just doesn’t feel right. And I know that everybody or anybody is going to read all of my post’s on my blog. And let me tell you. I don’t like it one bit. I’m the kinds of person that when I got a twitter, I got annoyed and upset when people followed me. I was perfectly happy when just my closest friends followed me so I could make cute insight jokes with them or references to something I know they would find funny. I can’t do that with a blog.  I feel the same way with my blog. I feel uncomfortable and awkward trying to come up with things to say, even coming up with a subject is an ordeal for me. I’m a conversational follower, not a leader. I mean , I have pretty strong opinions of things, but 99% of the time I don’t ever tell anyone. So me trying to come up with things im comfortable talking about, things that actually make sense to people, and coming up with enough to say to people is stressful. ESPECIALLY SENSE I HAVE TO WRITE ABOUT THINGS THAT ARENT REALLY ON THE TOP OF MY “I REALLY CARE ABOUT THAT” list…

make up: THE TEST DAY IS UPON US.

OH MY GOSH THE TEST. I totally forgot about the test until like Sunday night, and I was too zonked out on decongestants, anti-infalmitories, and allergy meds to even comprehend what English was. All I knew was that I had a test. So Monday night I went onto Mr. Mullin's twitter account to see if he had posted and study material/ study guides, and he has posted a list of things to study.  It was somewhat helpful. I reviewed the stories, irony, and my notes on things like characterization, plot, story, theme, and so forth. But when I got to class I saw you guys had this huge packet of things we needed to know and things were highlighted and extra notes were added and my head just about exploded from being so un-prepared. I sat and reviewed all of my notes again and Katherine even let me skim over her beautifully highlighted and annotated packet of everything we ever learned.  But man I didn’t feel ready for the test. I mean, the test wasn’t hard in my opinion looking back, but I’m always scared after a test that I feel way batter about the test than I actually did.

PHILOSOPHICAL MUCH?

Okay, so I learned the other day, I hate philosophical discussions. I mean, I enjoy sitting and thinking in philosophical terms, like the meaning of life,  why things happen the way they happen, who I am or want to be, mumbo jumbo like that. But when we started to get into if anything anyone does is actually selfish or not, I got a little annoyed. Not because Mr. Mullins kept telling people their examples were wrong (because in my opinion they were) but just the fact is was brought up. I mean, why critique someone’s view on good doing if they’re doing good? It’ll just make them not want to do good anymore and get a “why bother” attitude. I feel like this goes along with the say “If it aint, broke. Don’t fix it.” Because some people probably got a little discouraged that day to do anything nice for anyone because they’d just have the mentality that they’re being selfish. And no one likes to feel like everything they do is selfish. I would like to bring up something I did that may not have been selfish? And I would like feedback. Tonight my boyfriend indirectly hurt my feelings (shocker), and I mean I was pretty hurt. And he could tell I was hurt he just didn’t know why. And when he asked I didn’t want to tell him because I didn't want to hurt his feelings but he kept asking and I told him because he wanted me to. But I felt even worse after. So by doing my boyfriend the favor of telling him what was wrong with me, I got even more upset. Input? 

what do you mean college?

Wait, what do you mean I have to apply for colleges? What do you mean I have to get transcripts? WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!?! Senior year is going by way too quickly. Everyone is talking about the common app and essays and college apps already being turned in. Am I the only senior who just sits at the lunch table clueless when everyone sits and talks about all the college prep and decisions they have to make? I mean, I was a junior with you guys last year too. I skipped sophomore year not junior year. Was I sick on “what you need to do for college.” day? Because I feel like it. I have absolutely no clue how to even go about this. I mean I’ve made up my mind that I’m going to UK, (GO CATS) but I don’t even know how to go about putting together an application or writing an essay. My writing skills are minimal to say the least. I’m so scared that because I know nothing about the college app or essay writing process, I’m going to mess it up and not even be accepted to UK when I know I could easily get into UK.

I want to be involved too...

“Hills like white elephants” by hemming way is a great story, If only I understood it from the get go. As a student who never really had the privilege of getting a good English (or math) teacher who actually cared about my writing and reading skills, I always feel a little deprived when I’m in AP English and I have about a -8765% clue as to what’s going on and what everyone is talking about. But when we read hills like white elephants  for homework, I wasn’t the only clueless one and I t made me feel a little better, but I still wished I knew that the couple was talking about abortion when I read it. I honestly couldn’t have even to begun to tell you what I thought they were talking about. I just read it, almost mindlessly. And when we talked about it in class finally knowing what was going on at the exact same point as all my other class mates who are used to the AP level of learning and comprehension felt pretty good. I finally didn’t feel like that girl just quietly sitting in the corner who isn’t intelligent enough to actually contribute.

The Lesson

I feel like "The lesson" which we read a couple nights ago for homework really characterized and put into words how much of a two way street treating people of a different ethnicity or race is. In the story everything is narrated by a young African American girl who lives in a low income neighborhood with a poor community and her view on white people is a generalization or stereotype that all white people are rich, snobby, very educated, and buy really extravagant expensive things, like sail boats, just because they can. EVEN THOUGH she has a teacher that comes and proves her otherwise through her kindness, accepting nature, and home being in the very same neighborhood with a low income job and she can’t afford anything she want, she still feels the same way about white people in the end. So it goes to show that unfair treatment of specific social groups, ethnicity’s, and race’s can be a two way street and that maybe we should all, as an international community, maybe start contemplating how our own actions and perceiving people can also create an adverse effect and create the exact same situation for us that we put others in.